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El viaje continua
calizen
calizen
Feeling better but there's always the drums of Africa
storm and kite

I guess it's been hard to reimage myself after this knee break. The new things I have to do to keep the knee strong like running in water at least once a week -- definitely not couch potato me. The finding I can't kneel, not even for long periods of time, and how that affects me in the garden or hell, just going under my computer table to fix something. Have to fall flat on my butt and then scoot over. Makes me aware of how fragile this body is, and in the end, we use it the best way we can.

But I've got a wind back in my sails -- or at least I'm figuring some new things to do with the back part of the garden that's still a mess. I didn't plant a lot of stuff, but finally got pansies in pots and 2 broccoli plants in. Then I saw masses of bulbs that are overflowing one area and thought -- hmm. I can plant bulbs over there. And the gladioli that are just stuck in one place can go over there as well.

And of course, there's the drums of Africa. Now Saidi's mother's very sick with malaria in the brain, and of course, the money issue -- how much can I give after all the giving for the internship in France.

Well, I have to see it as life is interesting and I'm just passing through anyway, so I have to get as much I can -- knowledge, feeling, understanding -- while I'm on the way.
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Comments
pasticcio From: pasticcio Date: January 26th, 2013 03:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's good to hear that you've got the wind back in your sails .. these challenges bring out the resiliency in us .. that's a good thing sometimes.
calizen From: calizen Date: January 26th, 2013 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
You and me both. It'll take a lot to get either one of us. Of course, as I remember, you're from the east and they're always tough as nails
pasticcio From: pasticcio Date: January 27th, 2013 05:04 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm actually in Western Canada .. we're tougher than them Easterners! ;)
calizen From: calizen Date: January 27th, 2013 02:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh my goodness, I stand corrected. Didn't you guys have Sgt Preston of the Yukon?
dialyn From: dialyn Date: January 26th, 2013 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I took a leap of faith (rare for me) and scattered some wildflower seeds out in a rather barren part of my yard. I put down a layer of bark first so I would know where I sprinkled the seed, and then I waited until the birds had gone to bed so they wouldn't immediately start eating the seed, and I also planned to time this when we were expecting rain. The seeds are supposed to grow into plants that will attract butterflies and hummingbirds, but first they have to sprout. It rained yesterday and it is raining today, and I think I see little green shoots that may or may not be from the seeds. I don't expect them all to grow, or even the majority of them, but if I get one or two blooming plants, I will be happy, and so will the hummingbirds, butterflies and bees.

You know your friend in Africa better than I do, and I assume you trust he is always honest with you, so perhaps you need to be honest with him and let him know that you don't have extra money right now to send him. You've given him a lot and I applaud your generosity of spirit, but sometimes unhappy choices have to be made. I realize the theory is that the more you give away, the more will be returned to you but, personally, that's never worked for me, though I realize my experience may not be yours. While I know you want to continue to mother him, it will do neither of you any good if you give money you can't afford and if he becomes so dependent on your largess that he doesn't try other avenues (actually, do we know that he doesn't have other benefactors?)--all of this makes me a terrible cynic and more cold-hearted than I really feel. I increasingly have to say "no" these days because of my own sinking finances and maybe that's made me more of a stone than I used to be.

Edited at 2013-01-26 04:28 pm (UTC)
calizen From: calizen Date: January 26th, 2013 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hi there. I threw out some wildflower seeds too although it is in a shady place and I don't know what the results will be.

As for Abou, This thing will Saidi's mother is what it is. We will have to see what happens and I just don't have the money left for it. Certainly has been an education for me as a westerner. I was talking with someone in world health who said on her Ph.D. tests, if you didn't know the answer to where a disease came form, you just put in "Sub-saharan Africa," and it was usually right. God's own little acre of hell on earth.
dialyn From: dialyn Date: January 26th, 2013 10:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's terrible to have to make choices that force you to make what may be life or death choices on behalf of someone else. In the end, you can only do what is right for you to do, and then not second guess yourself in memory. I try to remember that I may not have made the best choices, but I made the best choice I could make at the time I made it. I have often felt responsible for people whose lives I couldn't possible change one way or the other, just because I thought there was more I could do or should do, even it's unrealistic to have that expectation. I am trying to let that tendency go, especially now that there is less and less that I can do. I know you will do what is right for you to do, and that's all that really matter.

And I wish your sunflowers well. I had one come up in a sun deprived corner of my yard...as the cliche goes: bloom where you are planted (and it did).
rodluvan From: rodluvan Date: January 26th, 2013 05:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
oh my did you break you knee? I'm sorry. I hope you have no pain. Can you walk?
calizen From: calizen Date: January 26th, 2013 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hello my dear.

Smashes it actually last summer. Doing better but no longer can kneel at all, there isn't anything really left to knee on other than wires that are roping the remaining 2 parts together. But -- we keep going because we have no other choice, right?
rodluvan From: rodluvan Date: January 31st, 2013 06:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
So sorry you smashes your knee. HUGS
pondhopper From: pondhopper Date: January 26th, 2013 10:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I can't really kneel either because of arthritis but I've found lots of garden things to do that don't require kneeling. A low stool can help if you can sit on it and use long handled garden tools also.
:)

Lots of very large container gardening is also fun...and easier on the body.

I would be very slow to give more money. You can't give what you don't have and while it's sad, you really should be practical.
calizen From: calizen Date: January 27th, 2013 02:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I've reached the point of practical. And if you don't have it, you don't have it.

The small stool looks good to me too as does more container plants. But I've got my eye on cleaning up an area where the grasses are tall and the wild fig trees are growing. The trees can stay but I think bit by bit the grasses are going to go.
jjstarwalker From: jjstarwalker Date: January 26th, 2013 10:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
How does bending work for you? I can kneel, briefly, but it is not a good thing on my knees so I avoid it whenever I can. The getting down and up again is almost impossible, and for any length of time, ditto.

In the garden I have a cart that I sit in the back of, or with the side takes off, on the side and I can bend to plant the row I am sitting over (when on the back) or to weed and pick, when along side.

I have also seen a rather durable little gizmo at the garden store that is a combination kneeler and seat (depending on which way you put it down, that was quite affordable and I put on my hint list. Though I do prefer the cart for planting and if I might have harvest, this might be better for just weeding, as it's lighter. On the other hand, I would have to get up and down whether I had it in kneeling mode (I tried it, and it was actually comfortable, which the ground isn't, and the handles make it much easier to get up!) or sitting. The cart will push straight... for a while... so I only have to get up every 10-15 feet. My garden is much larger than yours, I think.
calizen From: calizen Date: January 27th, 2013 02:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hi there. Thanks for asking. The left knee is impossible to kneel on. There's nothing there basically to absorbed any pressure even something pillowy. I can kneel down on the right knee, but it's awkward getting down there. On the other hand, my upper extremity strength has increased since I've had to use my upper arms so much to get in and out of cars and hoist me up from sitting, etc. So a small seat might work.

I so wish I had a bigger garden, but at this time, the small garden has proven a challenge. But hey, that's part of living, right?
islandmomma From: islandmomma Date: January 27th, 2013 09:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
I know how you feel about Africa, and about Abou, but, and I think you know that I say this in unbiased fashion - I do think enough is enough. If you give this time, please promise me that it's the last. I'm pretty sure you will find after this there is something else - indefinitely. It's not that they mean to be dishonest or anything, it's just the way things are there, and the perception of westerners being so much richer (which we are, but have a lot more responsibilities and committments too, life is just so different) and you need money if your health fails or whatever. I won't be selfish to say "no", really it won't.
calizen From: calizen Date: January 28th, 2013 01:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hello, my dear.

I know exactly what you're saying. As is, the money is out at this point so it's rather moot. Which, knowing how horrible diseases are in Africa, may be horrendous for her. And I don't doubt that she has something. But -- Fate is going to have to come in here because the bank is empty.
mayamithraca From: mayamithraca Date: January 28th, 2013 07:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
You have done so much, Rebekah. Bless your beautiful heart...a rhythm heard on the other side of the world.
calizen From: calizen Date: January 28th, 2013 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hello Sistuh,

Nice to "hear" your sweet words again.
mayamithraca From: mayamithraca Date: January 28th, 2013 07:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love to you my friend. xoxo
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